澳門的交通狀況 - Macau’s traffic situation

周立波有一段調侃上海交通狀況的段子，內容如下：
Below is a joke about Shanghai’s traffic congestion which is cited from Mr. Zhou Libo’s talk show:

有一次我送我朋友去北京，正好我司機不在，那我自己親自駕車，送他到那個浦東國際機場。到了機場以後我往回走了。兩個小時以後，我那個北京朋友到北京了，打電話過來感謝我：“謝謝你啊，立波！我已經到北京了。”我說：“哦！我還在回家路上。”

My friend once headed to Beijing via Pudong airport. My driver happened to be on leave on that day, so I gave him a ride personally. I dropped him off there, and then returned immediately. Two hours later my friend arrived Beijing, and gave me an appreciation phone call, “Thank you, Libo. I’m in Beijing already.” And then I replied, “Oh! I’m still on my way home.” 

依樣畫葫蘆，筆者也編一個段子，更能反映澳門的交通狀況，而且還有多個版本：
I have re-created the joke to make it closer-related to Macau’s traffic situation, and there is actually more than one version:

某甲君送朋友乙君回廣州，熱心的甲君“送佛送到西”，一直送乙君到了珠海城軌站才往回走。一個多小時以後，乙君打電話來道謝：“謝謝你啊，甲君！我已經到廣州了！”甲君卻回應道：“哦！（）”
遊客版：我還在排隊過關，還沒回到澳門呢！
草根版：我還在車站排隊，還沒擠上巴士呢！
中產版：我還在打車，還沒欄到的士呢！
土豪版：我還在停車場輪車位呢！

Mr. A sent his friend Mr. B off to Guangzhou. Mr. A was so passionate that he accompanied Mr. B all the way to the Zhuhai railway station. Around an hour later Mr. A received a phone call from Mr. B, “Thank you, Mr. A. I just arrived in Guangzhou,” Mr. B said. “Oh! well, ( - ),” Mr. A answered.

- Visitor’s version: I’m still in the long queue to the border gate. 

- Grassroots’ version: The buses are too crowded and I have not yet got on a bus. 

- Mid-classes’ version: I haven’t caught a taxi yet. None of them would stop and take a passenger. 

- Tuhao’s version: I’m still looking for a parking lot.

在珠海拱北口岸廣場等候過關的市民、遊客
Gongbei border square, where people are waiting to cross the Zhuhai-Macau border

公眾停車場一位難求
Parking lot is unavailable

中區某停車場前等候車位的車龍
Cars waiting for a parking lot at Macau CBD

關閘的士站擠滿候車遊客
Crowds at border gate’s taxi station

話說今天下班要坐巴士去氹仔，足足等了半小時，到第三輛33號巴士才終於擠了上車，同時巴士站處不斷有遊客截的士，然而足足半小時，卻連一輛停下來載客的的士都沒有，故有感而發。

One day I went to Taipa after work, but buses were so crowded that they couldn’t even open the door. Half an hour later, the 3^rd 33-route bus came and I finally squeezed onto it; meanwhile some visitor around the bus stop found it struggling to catch a taxi. I thus write down this blog to express my dissatisfaction.

2015-01-27更新：筆者把文章翻譯成英文，讓國際友人都來看看，澳門究竟是宜居城市還是憨居城市。

2015-01-27 Update: I have translated this passage into English, so that anyone from anywhere could judge whether Macau is a livable city.